What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

🌿🌻Why are Meghan and Harry not treated like royalty in the United States anymore?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?

Do you know what she said mum?

True - how I loved my mum!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What was the worst spanking you got growing up?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Who is the most trusted person in your life, and do they have the same trust on you?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What! how could you do that?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What was something you did naughty with your cousin?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.